Conflicted

Back when I was new to the internet, and particularly, when I was a silent lurker in a few atheist/theist discussions, I remember a few things that atheists would point out to theists, namely Christian theists, that would stand out. Certain things said would just stand out more than others, and one day an atheist put personification to good use. His Christian opponent was arguing for anthropic principle, but at some point the atheist wrote back[paraphrased], "'Lookit how perfectly I fit into this hole in the road! It must've been made just for me!', said the mud puddle."

That was a "light bulb" moment for me, despite already having doubts as young as nine years old and carrying those doubts into adulthood..e.g..Captain Noah and his ark, things just springing into existence, etc.

Long-story-short, I lost faith in faith because I eventually could no longer ignore the conflicted thoughts.

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Changing gears, someone asked another person, "How can you eat something that has a face?"


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This got me thinking(more like a nagging feeling, actually), to the point that I cannot simply choose just to not think about it anymore, albeit, I was able to not think about it for most of my life.

But how? Compartmentalization? Say it isn't so. Indoctrination? Indoctrinated to believe that eating other sentient creatures is A-oh-fu(king kay? Why not? I mean, that's exactly how I became "okay" with an innocent person being executed for my shortcomings. That's how I became "okay" with someone holding me accountable for something I have zero control over...i.e..being human. That's how I became "okay" with some of my fellow human beings being incinerated alive in a place torture chamber called "hell" for not believing as I believed.

After ruminating on this, it seems to me that, yes, this is exactly how I was able to have stuffed animals as "friends" as a child, but could be called to the table to eat a sandwich made out of ground up farm animals, gobble it right down, then be back playing with my stuffed animals.

Q: Why didn't I make the connection?

A: Indoctrination.

You're taught that doing X, Y, and Z is "normal", so you don't ever question it. You see a BLT in front of you, what do you do? Why of course, you eat it.

Mmmm....bacon. Right? I'd venture a guess that if you could somehow know people's thoughts right before they are preparing to jam cured and smoked pig flesh down their gullets, you would not see many thought bubbles with the above-pictured in those bubbles. After all, such thoughts might cause conflicted feelings. And yes, I'm aware that there's people who have no qualms keeping and eventually slaughtering certain animals to put food on the table. After all, that's the way they always done it, ain't it? Yes, just ask the "Motor City Madman", himself, Ted Nugent......::eyeroll::

But it seems that, yes, for millions, that's how they've always done it. And of course, the more longstanding the tradition, the more it must be right. Right? Arg.

For those who might answer "no"..e.g...me, the solution is simple, isn't it? Yes, I just stop eating meat, and voila!

Okay. But as with many other things done out of habit, tradition, and convenience, this is easier said than done. And to make matters worse, just how in the hell does a saucier avoid foods with animal proteins?

So, again. I want to do what I feel is right, ethically, but muuuuch easier said than done. This is going to be tough, because once again, you cannot "unring" a bell.