Dots: Not Connected.

In this day and age conspiracy theories abound. But what does one do when it hits home? What do you do if you work in proximity to someone who, say...someone who believes that the earth is flat, not spherical, and that NASA (not to mention every other space program around the pancake globe) is trying to hide the "true" shape of our planet from us? Do you bite your tongue? Do you try to reason with them?

Whatever you do(or don't do), it can put a strain on working relationships and even friendships if you're not careful. Approximately a month ago, a friend/colleague turned to me, and with the straightest of faces, told me this: "The earth is flat, bro'".

To back up a bit, this was in response to a part of a previous conversation in which I was being summoned to "write about" a "flat earth". Those who follow me closely might be able to figure out what the context is here. Naturally my response to being summoned to do this was to ask this person if they meant to mock the idea of a flat earth, because I am surely capable of that.  

Welp, no, they were serious, and my heart sank when it hit me that they were not kidding. All I could do at that point was to literally put my face in my hands and utter out loud, "Oh, god....no. No, no, no, NO!"

A few minutes of passionately exchanged ideas took place..i.e....they, offering why science is wrong and how "we've been lied to"; me, why science is right and how the dots are never connected with conspiracy theorists. And, well, they're not connected. What the hell does anyone stand to gain by keeping the true shape of the planet from you, me, and everyone else? No satisfactory answer.

And then some rather obvious questions come up, such as why there are time zones if the earth is flat. How is it that during a lunar eclipse we can actually witness the earth's shadow against the moon, and this shadow is curved? Not to mention, in a flat earth model the earth never even gets between the sun and moon.

Entertaining their hypothesis, if the earth has "edges", why on earth(no pun), in this day and age, where nearly everyone has a camera at their finger tips in their waking hours, has no one ever, not once, taken a video or picture of the "edges" of the earth?

Well, well, it's because the entire North Pole, which the flat-earther believes goes around the entire circumference of the flat, pancake earth, is a heavily guarded "no fly zone". That's why.

IOW, you've now entered the flat earth apologetics zone. Why do we have hundreds of thousands of pictures taken by NASA depicting a spherical planet? They're "faked", that's why. How is it I can be flying over seas and look out a 747's window at a really high altitude and see a curved horizon? Oh, it's because the plane's windows are curved, which creates a fish eye effect, and subsequently this distorts what I'm seeing. I'm dead serious. You can't make this up. ...::sigh::

Fortunately, the subject has not come up since then.

Would removing the turtle and elephants really make it less outrageous?

Meet Dudley Do-Nothing....

We've all heard of "Dudley Do Right", right? Welp, I now give you his cousin, "Dudley Do Nothing".

Dudley Do Nothing supposedly works all day, but interestingly - and conveniently for him - he doesn't actually do anything. Nope, he does jack-squat all day long, despite claiming do be "on the job" at all times and the best at what he does. 'Doesn't seem like a guy you'd hired to fulfill a position or get a job done, does it? I know I wouldn't hire him.

It's both bizarre and disconcerting, though, because there are some people out there who would hire Dudley Do Nothing. This is seriously messed up, especially considering that Dudley Do Nothing is indistinguishable from a worker who's not even there. In fact, Dudley Do Nothing looks a lot like the individual described here....

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