Set to Fail: Why God's Plan Won't Work.

Imagine that you are "God".

Okay, so....::dum-dee-dum-dee-dum::... you're God, and one day.....no, wait, scratch that.....you haven't created "days", yet.

Okay, here we go. At one point in time you are...........awww, crap!.....you haven't created "time", yet! You're timeless, after all. Cripes!

Okay. Relax---breath in.

So, resuming----once upon a time when time didn't exist..............Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >: (

Okay, screw that part. Here: Nothing but you existed, and you were bored out of your mind back when nothing but you existed. There.

So, back when nothing existed but you, you decided to create a Universe(and don't anyone dare tell me that contemplating is a temporal act, dammit!). But anyway, you're all.. like, "Eh, a Universe with just a bunch of dark matter and black holes isn't very exciting", so you decide that you want to create some creatures that will worship you and sing you songs. Songs about you, of course.

So, there you are, seated at your cosmic drafting table out in the middle of nowhere, and right away something occurs to you: You realize that not all of your hypothetical creatures will be convinced of your existence, because after all, you are invisible, immaterial, and noncorporeal. You realize this bit of crucial info' because of course you are "omniscient"(in case you've forgotten)

But then after ruminating on that thought for a short period of non-time, you think, "Screw it", and you go ahead as planned.

....::Poof! ::....(or however You did it)

The Universe exists in all of Your Glory. As for where you'll put your future worshipers, you decide to put them in a remote corner of the Universe in their own little galaxy along side the other 125 billion galaxies that you created. You are a conservationist, after all, and what better way to save space.

Possessing the Highest IQ imaginable, you realize that you don't want "robots". No, you want creatures who will choose to believe in and worship you of their own volition. So, you will endow your creatures with what you call "free will".

....::fast forward into the future::...

One day while you were looking down on Earth checking the progress of your Earthlings from the Heavens, you notice a ruckus. Lo and behold, there are some of your creation that worship other gods, and even some of them who don't believe in ANY gods! You're like..."Whaaaaa?!?!?!?!".

Angrier than a deaf person tryin' to play Bingo, you right away go back to your drafting table to come up with a way to fix this major snafu without subverting your creation's "free will".

Bingo! You've got it!...thee Ultimate Plan. You'll call it......::sound the trumpets::....."Salvation"!

In an nutshell, "Salvation" will go like this: You will send an angel to inseminate a female Earthling with Divine sperm. The offspring of this out-of-wedlock, one night stand will be 100% Earthling, and 100% You(God). You will make a deal with everyone, telling them that you will arrange to sacrifice this "mini-me" of yourself, and that this way, no one will have to suffer the consequences of not believing in you. The only stipulation is that everyone needs to accept this free gift blood sacrifice by Roman-style execution, and all will be saved. This is a brilliant idea if you don't say so yourself, because non-belief is something that you find highly offensive, as well as worshiping and singing to other gods. You are a jealous god, after all. You even go by the name, "Jealous".

Excited to implement your Plan, your own offspring is sacrificed just as planned.

...::fast forward 2000 years::....

Again, you peek in on the progress of things, and you are flabbergasted. There are still people worshiping other gods, and there are still people who don't believe in ANY gods! "How can this be!?!?!?!?", you wonder.

Being everywhere at once, you look in on a conversation taking place between one of your followers and one of those stupid non-believer people. The non-believer, who's named after a snake, no less, types to one of your followers...

If God knew from the onset that not everyone would believe, then logic says that some people are fated to not believe. It's inescapable. Thus, it doesn't matter how perfect "God's Plan" is, it is set to fail by the fact that God is Omniscient