Three letters that we all dread typing, but nonetheless, three letters that we will all more than likely type at some point in our lives. But when we desire our loved ones who pass on to "rest in peace", is that what we really mean? Well, it appears not by the looks of what some people say when attempting written eulogies. Mind you, this is not to say that people aren't well-meaning; it's only to say that they might not be thinking things through before they hit the keyboard. A friend and former band mate from back in my jammin'-cover-songs days passed on recently, and on a popular networking site, some of the comments from mutual friends really had me thinking. You see, with musicians, it's evidently really popular to talk about how the deceased is jammin' away with other musicians who preceded them in death. Of course, I mean jammin' away in "heaven". One person even commented, "He has moved on to bigger and better things".
But what is this mentality really saying? Bigger and better things? Really? What... as if what my friend accomplished in his lifetime was small and in need of improvement? The results of my friend's efforts as a musician left so much to be desired that I now have to pretend that he's achieving "bigger and better things"? Really? What if my friend was fully content with his achievements and wanted music to be a closed chapter in his life? Shouldn't he have that option? I think so. In other words, what if he really wanted to rest in peace?
So, I think that what is happening here is that while people might be well-meaning and trying to find comfort in an uncomfortable time, they are projecting their desires and beliefs onto the deceased---as if to say, what you gave us in your lifetime was not enough!!!!... we must have more, more, MORE! And honestly, reading such comments only compounds the sadness. And I guess now is the ideal time to go on record to say that in the event that I die unexpectedly, I'm done with music. I don't want to keep jammin' in some perpetual "afterlife"; I don't want to see my favorite movie over and over or eat my favorite food day in and day out for all of eternity. I want to "rest".
4 comments:
I hear ya. When I was a Christian my mom told me that when I go to heaven I get to worship Jesus and sing praises to him all day... I remember thinking...what? And then verbalizing my dismay. My mom was horrified. Then I felt bad about not wanting to do those things in heaven and was then afraid I would go to hell. My mom was great at fucking me up :-) I just want to RIP as well. To Christians the prospect of nothingness scares them. It sound good to me.
"To Christians the prospect of nothingness scares them. It sound good to me."
Right, it scares them, which is precisely why they buy into the whole "heaven" prospect(as I once bought into it). Never mind that for the trillions and trillions of years before we were born, no one was scared, bummed-out, or inconvenienced by not existing.
So, it seems to me that some of us are only tortured by the thought of ceasing to exist in the here and now. Frankly, I'm not particularly comfortable with the thought of never seeing the people I love ever again, notwithstanding, reality doesn't care what makes you or me uncomfortable, plus, I simply cannot force myself to believe that which seems highly improbable to completely impossible. Seriously, shall we believe that sitting in church praising "God" 24/7 for 52 weeks straight wouldn't have people bored out of their minds and going stir-crazy? Now imagine that for all of eternity! All of the sudden, non-existence doesn't sound so bad, does it? lol
Thx for chiming it!
Is there a word or appropriate description for what comes after to the deceased? doesn't there need to be a consciousnesses to experience "nothing" or "something" like "rest"? Like RAM memory, once it no longer has power, everything it held is removed from existence ... the only thing that remains if the legacy we've left to the extent that we were ever worthy of someone to expend energy to recall our existence and what we did with it to make it memorable to others - without that, we may as well have never been.
"doesn't there need to be a consciousnesses to experience 'nothing' or 'something' like 'rest'?"
Yes, it seems that there would need to be "consciousness" to experience "something". But to experience "nothing"? It's like asking the question, "Does anyone remember a time when time didn't exist?" Brain twister.
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